Fighting Myself

kill yourself
kill yourself

kill yourself

kill yourself

kill yourself

Get the FUCK out of my head

no.

I want to die  No I don’t

yes you do.

Why? Why do you say that I should kill myself?

Your pills are right there. You can take a handful of them and slip into oblivion.

Fuck you. Oh God you’re right I’m a wreck it would be so easy NO

How do you think that you will function in the future? Look at you. You haven’t showered in days, you’re surrounded by candy wrappers, and you haven’t left your bed.

I’m fucking trying

Are you? Or are you just looking for attention?

I’m not–

Are you sure?  You’re an attention addict and you know it.

I’m trying…

No, you’re using people. You can’t love yourself so you demand love from those around you. You drain them, and then you move on– like a fucking parasite. Don’t you remember this?

“You used me in the worst way possible… you took advantage of me and my desire to love someone. You fed off my affection when you were weak, and once you no longer needed me, you left me.”

Yeah, I remember.

That’s all that you do. Don’t pretend like you don’t.

I just want everyone to be happy… I don’t want anyone to hate themselves as much as I hate myself…

Just end it

I want to I can’t! I refuse to do that but the thought of ceasing my own existence is so comforting  no

Do you want to keep hurting people?

Mistakes don’t define the entirety of my existence

Are you sure?

…. no

end it right now

Fuck you

you want to

This is just my depression talking this is irrational it’s just fuck what if it is right

Kill yourself

Get out of my head. You don’t belong here.

Oh, but you’re so lonely

I will fight you.

I will not listen to you.

I have so much to live for I refuse to fall to your bidding

You will.

I won’t.

2 thoughts on “Fighting Myself

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s